Finding "Balance" in Parenthood

Caring for two children and being a house wife is work! In the beginning, I really thought I could do it because It was a bit of a breeze with Sage, because, it’s just one child. Even when Ollie was born, I was like “ok I got this, I can get the hang of it”. But do we really get the hang of motherhood/parenthood? Do we really know what we’re doing? No, we don’t. We are literally winging it everyday, and that’s the truth. I can write out every advice in the book, and I will from my perspective; but every child is different, they come with different temperaments, patience, rules and boundaries and the list goes on; it’s best to do what’s best for you and your child. However, I am still here to give you a few tips on how to balance it all and don’t get burnt out. 


1. Be patient - ‘there are no days the same’ 

  • We are so used to having everything done our way on our own time, and having children changes all of that. You can tell yourself, ‘I’ll be out the door to an appointment by 10am’, and the truth is you’re more than likely be late or won’t be able to make that appointment. Or you’ll have the whole day planned out on errands, and only one was accomplished through out that day. And the truth is that’s ok. I feel like this God’s way of telling us slow down and enjoy the in between. Because the in between doesn’t last. So I’ve learned to just accept things the way it is and appreciate the time that we have now. Also, if you’re like me, I love to have control of my life and my career, and the hardest thing for me was accept that my dream job/career might not come right now, and I can not blame my children for that because they didn’t ask to be here. So I have to be patient with my career and pursue it possibly at another time, or try and balance both but without holding animosity towards my children for simply wanting my attention.

2. Go with the flow - in the early years for children 0-3

  • We are such a militant society where we have to always be on time, dress a certain way, get up at a certain time, look a certain way that we enforce those same ideologies to our children. And at a young age they don’t really care bout these things. And I feel that I get more push back when I try to get my children in line on how society runs. Or, I’ll just get bombarded with the question of why, non stop, and that’ll just cause more confusion and frustration on both ends. So just go with the flow. 

3. Don’t be hard on yourself 

  •  This one is very hard. Because we live in a world where vanity wins. Everything must be perfect and you must be a perfect parent. No you do not! Parenthood is unpredictable and it’s hard. There are no rights or wrongs to this game on how you should parent YOUR child. Just because you see a mom with five kids that looks like she’s holding it down, doesn’t mean she is. And if she is, how do you know if she doesn’t have help? Or, just because you see this father take his children on a bike ride every week doesn’t make you less of a fun parent. Ask your child what would they like to do? Most of the time it’s some really simple like play, get some ice cream or even some form of craft. Do what works for you both, as long as you give your child time, they’ll love you unconditionally.
 4. Balance your time - self care 
  • This is another hard one. Well, it’s hard for me because I don’t live near family to help me with the kids, just so I can have some me time, or to simply catch up on the house work. But if you’re blessed with the help of extended family that is willing to watch your kids even for an hour, take it! You’ll be surprise what you can get done in one hr! You can take a candle lit bath, read a book, clean up, prep dinner; I mean, sky is the limit! Afterwards, by just having that time to just "think", you'll fell much better and it'll be easier for you to move forward into parenting again. You'd probably miss the kids at some point, well maybe not, but you get my drift.  
 I really hope this finds you and brings you comfort. Like I said, I am no way an expert in this considering that I am still learning myself. I just wish I had someone to tell me these things before becoming a parent. I would of been less anxious, I would of known what to expect and most of all I would of calmed down and take things one day at a time. Peace & Love.

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